Weapons Man

Bubba is in da house! Check out this case of Gleprosy. Also called Handtool’s Disease.

Words fail. Well, maybe except for one word: FUGLY. And what can that thing feel like? Nothing good. It looks like a marital aid for frigid Komodo Lizards.

“Yeah?! Bet you wouldn’t say that to my face! I’m way better looking than that abortion.”

Hat tip, Miguel at Gun Free Zone.

Uh, we were supposed to put up a post this morning, weren’t we?

Oops.

We were looking for a Michael Caine movie when we found this Michael Douglas movie that we’d never seen before. Not the Michael we were looking for, but two things they have in common are terrific acting ability and a knack for unusual roles. So we grabbed it — and are glad we did. It also features Robert Duvall in an absolutely outstanding supporting performance.

Well, if he didn’t want his murder jury to think he might be a murderer, he could have skipped the tattoo, or gotten one that says RAPE or BURGLARY or something. But now he wants the state to pay for him to get his tattoo off before he goes on trial for a murder in Kansas almost three years ago. A San Francisco paper (probably trying to show their local readers that people in Kansas are way more depraved) had this feature:

Is that a warm glow we’re feeling, or are you just glad to range us? The Food and Drug Administration, apparently upset that all kinds of other agencies are getting their Nazi on and leaving the pill police behind, wants to restrict and, functionally, ban, all but the lowest-powered laser pointers. Everything but the green five-watters in the chart below? Banned. “Stroke of the pen, law of the land. Pretty neat,” as some politician or other said.

From time to time, we report on crimes in bucolic New Hampshire, often in the “when guns are outlawed” or “Don’t be THAT guy” categories. And most of those don’t merit a post to themselves as a follow-up; likewise, many new crimes that come over the transom here.

The Department of Veterans Affairs is a mess. The Phoenix VA Medical Center is one of its messier entrails, where keeping one (false) waiting list for oversight while another (secret) list for actual use has been implicated in the deaths of as many as 40 neglected veterans.

Are there items to quibble about? Sure.

This guy is one of the great creeps of the western world, and has maintained for decades that he’s simply a political go-between. Now, a skeleton from his past cries out for justice. The cry may be metaphorical, but the skeleton is real.

OK, it’s really called the “Gilboa Snake,” but our name is way better, no?

This time, to Florida. Emphasis ours.

To which Jim Geraghty seems to have the right response:

Well, maybe about a grand or so. What if it has a low serial number? And is in really good condition. Well, that elevates the price a little.

Somebody wanted these, and we do keep track of ‘em, but in the past have only reported them when the month’s end falls close to our usual weekend posts.

Previously, at the end of March, our totals were:

Year to 31 March 2014: 245,087

1 January  2013 to 31 March 2014: 871,954

In Calendar April, 2014, we recorded 71,228 hits, which makes a total of 316,315 year to date, or 943,182 hits since 1 January 2013.

We did not collect any statistics at all during the blog’s first year, from 1 January 2012 to 31 December 2013.

If the blog recieves hits at the April rate on average through the year, it will finish the year with 854,736 hits. If it receives hits at the first-third-of-the-year rate (1 January-30 April) it will end the year with 948,945 hits. Our goal is to break a million hits for the year.

It was a single essay that got us to label Straight Forward in a Crooked World as our Wednesday Weapons Website of the Week. It was an essay explaining why it’s a moral ever ever too deep into the motivations of criminals. Bottom line, they chose to be criminals:

Put down the ropes, pard. Not that kind of roundup. We’re going to round up a few Rangerette stories about how our military is doing, marching off into the bright sunlit uplands of the Future with the New Soviet Non-Gendered Person in the vanguard of the proletariat.

What does it take for a cop to get suspended? Well, in the notoriously bad Durham, NC police department (the one which has raised ignoring city crime while hazing Duke students to an art form) it takes salvaging parts from confiscated guns, which courts in the liberal, pointy end of North Carolina once ruled had to be destroyed.

Looks like a veritable phalanx of operators. Switchboard type…